Christmas 1995 Smiles

 

Larry and I were looking at the Memory Book yesterday...and talked about this one photograph. It was taken on the holiday after my mother passed away. Larry said, look at you "pretending" to be happy when the rest of us are heartbroken.

He was right. I have a bad habit of pretending. I love to pretend that everything is ok. No problem, but it has now become a problem for me. At the time that this picture was taken, Mother had been dead 3 months, Norman (my father) was already in love with a new woman and I had almost no relationship with my sisters and extended family. (the new girlfriend thought I was to much like my mother and did not like me at all)  So, I pretended that everything was ok, when in all reality, nothing was ok except for the love I felt and feel for my family in the photo below.

Photo:1995

Christmas 1995, was awful. My sweet daughters were sad and missing their Granny while Larry and I kept up the traditions. We hosted our annual Christmas Party and my father brought his new girlfriend. (If I shared THAT story it would be a completely new blog post)

Life had changed so much and would continue to change into February of the new year. Our Lauren, at 15, was diagnosed with a blood disease. My attention became focused on other things. Lauren was treated at Medical City Dallas for 6 months ending with surgery to remove her spleen.

Lauren is a healthy wife and mother now. Jamison is a great sister and Aunt. Both the girls are happily married and only have had bad memories about this one holiday. They were disowned by a person in their life whom they trusted and loved, their grandfather.

I look at my smile in the photo, and think. Norman, my father certainly taught me how NOT to treat the people that I love.

Everyone has a bad Christmas now and again. We must just keep smiling and move forward and be the happiest that we can be.

I send you love and blessings for this holiday and if you need to talk or share, you can email me at robin@robintolbert.com I am a good listener.

Love you beyond the moon. 
Me