October is almost over. Weeks of rain and dark days. The death of a wonderful friend and mentor. Endless projects that tested my patience and made me face up to an immediate need for bifocals, and drama. Always some kind of international or local drama.
Nothing prepared me for the "blues" yesterday, while I watched Larry. There were 3 episodes during the day, when Larry had to step in and correct a situation. He helped Jami with two separate issues and I am ashamed to say that I was jealous. He handled the problems with strength and quiet grace. He did it without being asked for the help, and did it quietly. He was a good Father.
I sat very still and thought very hard. Larry is the Father we all wished that we could have. My Father (Norman) always preached ,"if you are ever behind the 8 ball, I am here"...but he never was. During the most horrendous and frightening times of my life, he was not there. He then disinherited me. It is true and I was at fault. I did not RSVP the Christmas Party that he was giving with the woman he was living with. This was 2 years after Mother died. It is true, I did not RSVP. But I was behind the 8 ball, and he was worried about a holiday party. After this happened, I had only Larry and the girls. I did see Norman years later. I told him that I loved him and always will. He did not answer. Do you know how OK that is? I said it and he knew. He died not loving me. He died without making anything right. How on earth would that feel? Dying with so much hate in your heart? He taught me the most valuable lesson of all. There is nothing that the my daughters could ever do, to be put out of my life. Nothing.
Yesterday, while watching Larry I got a major case of the blues. I wish that I had a Father like Larry. I wished it with all of my heart, and even had a selfish cry about it. Then I realized, I am married to a most wonderful man. A husband who is always there, even when I am behind the 8 ball. Yesterday during the moments of the blues, I discovered that making today the best we can make it and telling the people in your life, that love and care about you, that you love and admire them, makes your heart sing. Joyful, unconditional love. Well, that AND an apple pie. I baked an apple pie yesterday. It was still warm when we had dessert. Yes, It has been brought to my attention that when I have the "blues" I bake. How very wonderful is that? Something good to come from having the blues! May you never have the blues. But if you do, find that one thing that can make you smile. It always works. Love you beyond the pie crust, Me PS: I was given this movie by my daughter. Simply Irresistible (film) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
( Simply Irresistible) She made one comment when giving it to me. Mom, this is like you. LUM
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